Personal Value and Self-worth

Personal value relates to how you value yourself and your worth as an individual. Even though we all want love, respect, happiness and success, many people struggle deep down with self-worth, believing themselves to be undeserving of these things.


High: 30 - 21

If this really isn’t an area in which you struggle, it's likely that you truly know your worth as an individual - as a parent, partner, colleague or family member. Most likely you were fortunate enough to have a healthy upbringing during those formative years in which the template for later life is laid. 

With a healthy self-image in place, why not turn to the challenges you do have? Perhaps you could be a better partner? Are there are career goals you’d like to achieve? Maybe you’d like to change your relationship to money, so that it can flow your way unimpeded? There are no limits to the ways in which QEC can help to take your life to the next level and we’d love to explore these ideas with you. Over 4 weeks, our short, online course presented live by Dr Salmon will teach you how to use the QEC method as a self-help tool, to overcome challenges in the moment.


Mid-range: 20 - 12

Scoring neither low, nor high for personal value places you in perhaps in the most unhelpful position. You neither feel the urgency to make a change, nor do you get to experience what it is like to carry yourself with the confidence and humility that come with knowing your true value.

Don’t let that stop you! The advantage you have is that your road to a healthier state isn’t a long one. Over the last 14 years, QEC has proven to be a much quicker way to work with self-worth issues than traditional talk therapies, because of the unique way in which QEC operates. Self worth is a common issue for people when they work with QEC practitioners. If you are interested to know more about how QEC works, click here. 


Low: 11-0

Struggling with self worth is quite common and has its roots in the type of childhood upbringing that you had. For many people, this might be a strange thought and it’s often one that people have a hard time accepting - believing that others had it ‘far worse than me’. With wars and poverty around the world, it can be difficult to accept that my own upbringing could have had a lasting impact on my self worth as an adult. However, it is our responsibility as individuals to become the healthiest, happiest version of ourselves, no matter what our unique story might be.

A person who scores low in personal value is likely to have low self-confidence and might struggle in relationships. Problems in each of these areas all point to the same thing - the start that you had in life. 

Under the age of 7, the child’s brain is in a certain state which is similar to an adult under hypnosis. Brain wave function is in the theta range. It's a very slow brainwave which means that everything the young child experiences becomes ‘hardwired’ in the brain as ‘how things are’. In essence, it is like being hypnotised into a certain pattern of behaviour. With no frame of reference, we grow up believing our experience to be normal. 

A ‘good-enough’ bond with the primary caregiver under the age of 7 is a vital necessity for good self worth, confidence, and relationships in later life. If we did not have a ‘good-enough’ bond on a regular basis through these years, a template will be set that can negatively impact us as adults.

We cannot go back in time and change how we grew up. But, working with a QEC practitioner we can rapidly and effectively change our self worth in the present to a much more healthy state. Like ripples on the surface of water, this will impact every other area of our lives - unlocking the door to a much happier life.

Personal Boundaries

Having healthy boundaries refers to your ability to maintain balance between your needs and the needs imposed on you by the outside world.


High: 30 - 21

If you scored highly in the boundaries section, this means that you do not have any trouble balancing the needs of others with your own, personal needs. You’re able to match what you give out with what you need to keep yourself healthy, happy and inspired. When your cup is full, you’re in a place where you can give more to the people you care about.

Scoring highly means that you have a good foundation in your life, most likely from a healthy, well balanced and nurturing up-bringing. This is great news because it means that the stage is set for an even greater, more magical existence. Without having to first reach an optimal level of mental and emotional health, you can focus on extending yourself creatively. 

Working with a QEC practitioner will allow you to move rapidly beyond where you currently are - beyond simply feeling happy and productive. 

You’ll experience a creative expansion of possibility on all levels: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Life like this extremely rewarding, characterised by excitement, synchronicities and extraordinary events.


Mid-range: 20 - 12

If you scored in the middle range for boundaries, you might not be battling too much with regulating your needs with the needs of others. This is positive because it means that you are able to function without the risk of increased exhaustion or burnout. However, you may well not be presenting the best version of yourself to others because you’re spread thinly - only able to offer bits of yourself to your partner, the kids or your work colleagues. 

Scoring in the middle range is quite common and it’s easy to progress from here to a healthier state with the help of a QEC practitioner. Achieving healthier boundaries will allow you to live with greater peace and happiness. You’ll find it easy to balance what you give out with what you need to keep yourself healthy. As the saying goes, ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’. When your cup is full, you’re in a place where you can give more to the people you care about.


Low: 11 - 0

Having poor boundaries is a lot like spinning plates on top of long poles - trying desperately to attend to each one to prevent them from falling. The needs of others always take priority - whether that’s the children, the partner, friends, family or work colleagues. 

A person with poor boundaries might end up feeling exhausted and perhaps overwhelmed. In the long run, this can even lead to ‘burnout’ - a state of extreme fatigue (often accompanied by depression). Someone who scores low in personal boundaries doesn't know how to regulate their own needs in relation to what others demand from them.

Someone with poor boundaries struggles to believe that they have a right to prioritise their own needs. That’s why someone who scores low in personal boundaries is likely to battle with low self worth too. The two are related.

The reason why we have poor boundaries as adults has its origins in childhood and working with a QEC practitioner will reveal much more. The problem of always putting others needs before your own is made worse because it can be seen by society as noble - but it is actually very unhealthy.

When you don’t maintain good boundaries, you are not the best version of yourself because you become depleted, without even realising it. It’s a one-way flow of energy that leaves you exhausted. 

Once you have healthy boundaries and you start to say no, you can regulate what you give out and what you give yourself. You become the best version of yourself. Your relationships improve and you are able to love more. Everything you do is driven by choice and not by an unconscious knee jerk response. This is a much more beneficial state for you and the people around you.

Self confidence

You may have noticed that each of the four sections in this quiz are interrelated, in the sense that if a person is struggling in one area, they may well be struggling in all 4. Confidence is no different. We’re not really talking about confidence in public speaking, for example. It’s broader than that. A person who is confident is, first and foremost, someone who trusts themselves. Who trusts in their abilities and is able to approach life with a degree of fearlessness. 

While many people appear confident on the surface, this can be masking a deeper battle with low self-confidence. It’s a common issue that we can be addressed with QEC.



High: 40 - 28

 A person who is confident is somebody who trusts themselves, who's fearless. Confidence is trusting in your abilities. A confident person can say “I know I can do it, I'm not afraid.” If this sounds like you, congratulations!

If you scored highly for self confidence, you’re likely to be someone who is is excited by new things. You won’t have a problem accessing your creativity either because the ability to be creative is part of being confident as well. Creativity demands access to a part of the brain that we’re not able to utilise when traumatised.

So confidence is about self-trust, being fearless and being creative, without an understanding that making mistakes is an essential part of progress. A confident person is able to accept and forgive themselves.

What’s next for you? Well, you have the foundations in place to really accelerate into the life you love. Without needing to ‘look backwards’ and resolve issues from the past, you’re in the exciting position to let your imagination run wild - then work with a QEC practitioner to remove any blocks that might slow your progress. The onward journey for you will be characterised by synchronistic experiences and excitement, as life begins to unfold in a way of your choosing. 


Mid-range: 27 - 16

If you’re neither low nor high in this category, you may not see self-confidence as being too much of an issue for you. However, an improvement in your score can have a big impact on the way you experience life. A confident person brings something different to the table, from relationships to work opportunities. The decisions you make will be different and different decisions lead to an entirely different life. 

If you really want to experience a life you love, working on your self confidence is a powerful place to start. As we’ve mentioned, it isn’t possible to go back in time and change the way we grew up but with QEC we are able to work rapidly and effectively on the issues we face in the present. The unique nature of QEC allows lifetime problems to be resolved very quickly compared to traditional talk therapies such as counselling. There are no side effects and it’s very straightforward to do. You can read a little more about how it works on our website, here.


Low: 15 - 0

A low score in self-confidence will affect every aspect of your life. Lacking the inner strength that tells you that you can do something starts to close off opportunities for you in a variety of ways. It will mean you are naturally nervous to try new things. 

Someone who is confident gets excited by new opportunities and new ideas. Being confident allows your creativity to flourish. Lacking confidence, however, stems the flow of creativity because of the fear of making mistakes. Often, people who lack self confidence aren’t easily able to forgive themselves for mistakes.

True confidence is therefore characterised by humility and the ability to make mistakes. Confidence without humility isn’t really confidence. It’s a projection. The ability to stay humble is a hallmark of someone who knows and trusts their ability and worth.

The initial foundation for self confidence in adult life is created by having your earliest needs met as a young child, through ‘good-enough' bonding with your primary caregiver. Then, from the age of 7 onwards (from school age onwards), the child must be supported by the parent as they start to venture out into the world. If, for example, you are told at school that you aren’t good at art, then return home to a family environment that takes the side of the teacher - this reinforces the message and your confidence starts to become eroded. Confidence is maintained through parental support in the face of what goes on in the outside world.

Ongoing parental support is vital because you have to have somebody in your camp, fighting for you in the outside world.

If you believe you struggle with self confidence, QEC is the ideal tool help you to change that. Whether working with a QEC practitioner online, or learning how to use QEC for yourself by joining our 4 week online course - your life will look very different when you begin to regain some confidence.

Relationships

Many people are confused as to why their relationships aren’t great. It is very common to believe that the blame for a poor relationship should be placed firmly on the shoulders of the other person. Whilst that can be the case, a pattern of poor relationships or patterns of similar problems that reoccur within your relationships can signal that its’ time to look at ourselves.


High: 40 - 28

As mentioned below, if someone scores low in any one of these categories, they are likely to score low for all because the underlying cause is the same - the start that they had in life, in terms of their relationship with their primary caregiver. 

Conversely, if you scored highly and you don’t struggle with relationships, it does mean you've had a good start in life. You were able to bond and have the imprint or the ‘template’ set for good self worth, confidence, relationships and all the rest of it from your parents.

If your personal values, relationships and confidence are at optimal levels, where to from here? Well, what if you were able to go beyond a happy and productive life? What would it look like if you were able to extend yourself creatively? QEC is designed to take you beyond, to unlock a life characterised by extraordinary synchronicities.

Synchronicity in this context is when extraordinary coincidences occur repeatedly. It is difficult to describe what life like this is really like because it can sound a bit magical, almost unreal, something only achieved by a lucky few or high level meditators. But it really is possible for you - or anyone to achieve - if you use the right ‘tools’. Your relationships will deepen and your work will go to to a level that you’ve never known. In essence, a creative expansion of possibility on all levels: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. We would love to join you on that journey.


Mid-range: 27 - 16

Most people believe they had normal childhoods and don’t have much insight into how their issues as adults can relate to what happened when they were young. Most doctors, in fact, do not connect psychoemotional problems to childhood but the latest research and scientific studies all show a direct correlation. One such study that you can read about yourself is called the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study.

If you scored in the middle range for relationships, the way in which QEC works can really help you to see big improvements. It is likely that the ‘template’ for a healthy relationship is already in place and that with a bit of help and greater awareness, you’ll be able to take your most cherished relationships to the next level.


Low: 15 - 0

Let’s start with a real life case study of a lady that came to see a QEC practitioner. She had just come out of yet another bad relationship and wanted help to find out why she repeatedly seemed to get involved with the 'wrong’ type of man. The QEC sessions revealed that they lady had very poor personal boundaries and low self-worth. Her partner simply used her because there was no equality or respect in the relationship. She found herself being repeatedly manipulated because she didn’t know how to manage herself within her relationships.

A healthy relationship sees two people meet each other with respect and equal give-and-take. 

A bad relationship really emanates from a bad relationship with yourself. If you lack self-respect, you lack self-worth and cannot ‘meet’ other people in a healthy way. You can end up feeling isolated, lonely and imprisoned within the context of a relationship where there's no equal footing.

Again, much of this stems back to childhood. It is crucial that up to the age of 7 years old, a child has good bonding with the primary caregiver. What this does is teach the child that they are worthy and deserving of a close, loving relationship. This is more that just an idea for the child - it’s a deep, unshakable ‘knowing’ that get’s ‘hardwired’ into the brain. Traumatic experiences after the age of 7 will impact you, but not in the same way. If the initial bond was not there in those early years the child will go through life believing that all relationships are like that, setting us up for problematic relationships as an adult.

Fortunately, with QEC we are able to address this damage by changing the ‘hardwired’ beliefs that limit us. It’s a fascinating and highly effective process that has helped hundreds of people around the world to improve their personal relationships. You can find more information here.



All content/answers/ insights are solely the views of Dr Melanie Salmon, based upon her lifetime of professional learning as a medical doctor and Gestalt Psychotherapist. Dr Melanie Salmon and Quantum Energy Coaching (QEC Ltd) cannot be held responsible for any damage caused by the comments and opinions expressed in these quiz/assessment. Reliance on any information provided by Dr Melanie Salmon is solely at your own risk.